Ever-unobservant of simple location-revealing details, I can't tell you exactly where it is, but I can say that there's a mall in San Francisco - I think somewhere off Mission - with spiral escalators. Spiral escalators!

I don't go shopping much, so maybe this technological advance is de rigueur in many places, but I acted like a giddy child riding them all the way up and then back down.

I even called my dad on my cell phone to express my thrill.

Having not heard me clearly at first, he began explaining that Michelangelo had designed them for St. Peter's Basilica in Rome... "No, Dad! Spiral ESCALATORS!" I said.

"Oh, shit, really? Spiral?" He said. "Okay, Michelangelo did not design those."

"Well, if he had, how cool would that have been?"